Friday, July 9

The Last Worthless Evening

For ten years, I have struggled to lose weight. Well, that is not entirely accurate. I have lost weight easily several times, but failed miserably at keeping it off. Since the turn of the millennium, I have lost over 100 pounds at different times, and put it all. back. on. every. single. time.

I’ve “attempted” umpteen diets and detailed them here.

I’ve learned to love my body, extra pounds and all, and detailed that here and here.

I’ve made peace with exercise and have come to actually enjoy it. I detailed that here, here, here and here.

I ran a marathon. (This was before I was blogging...)

I cooked healthy meals. (Glorious One Pot Meals)

But when push comes to “shovel,” I shovel it right on in. Put me in front of a bowl full of noodles and suddenly my arms are not long enough to reach my pause button on my fork. My mother calls this the “Hand to Mouth Disease.”

If you go to a Weight Watchers meeting, you will learn that this behavior is not uncommon… I should know. I’ve been around the block with WW more than once… some might call me a Weight Watchers floozie… I know all the tricks and tips and hot buttons. It is such a great program and easy to follow… until it’s not.

That is where I always get tripped up. I fizzle out and the “energy storage” (as I’ve taken to calling my excess body weight) creeps back on. I simply fail to make the necessary changes to my lifestyle.

When I say necessary changes, I don’t mean giving up carbs or becoming vegan or subsisting only on the chaff of wheat grown in Kansas… I mean simply journaling my food intake and exercise. When I journal, my angel of goodness who sits on my right shoulder will almost always beat the devil of temptation on my. But if I’m not keeping track, there is no angel…. and there is no devil either, because I probably already ate what he was tempting me with!

“Well, what’s new?” you say. This: I’m going public. I’ve always approached my weight loss journey in silence, sharing my successes and failures with few so that I didn’t have to endure the pain of failing in front of many… so that I didn’t have to be fully committed. But I’m thinking I need some support. I need for someone to reply to this post in October and ask me if I am still journaling my food… to see if I’m still letting the angel win. I need someone to share my daily triumphs with. THAT IS YOU!

I am not going to make this about the pounds. My goal is follow the WW plan and to make this about successes – both small and large. My ultimate goal is that this is the last time the yo-yo goes down.

What can you expect from me? Moment-by-moment success reports on my Twiitter feed. (Need to get on Twitter? Click my link on the top right of the screen.) I’ll also give periodic updates here.

I appreciate your support as I walk this journey, hopefully for the last time. Also, I’d love to hear YOUR success story. You can leave it as a comment, or if you prefer, you can e-mail me at


Elisabeth said...

I hear & feel your pain. I could have written the post myself. I'm sure I've lost & gained at least that 100 lbs in the last 10 years - maybe even in the last 5! In late 2005 to March / April 2006, I lost about 25 lbs and was able to keep it off for more than a year. What a great feeling on Jan. 1, 2007 to NOT have weight loss as one of my resolutions!

After the wedding, it started creeping back up, though, and in January of this year, I weighed more than 30 lbs more than I did on our wedding day. I've currently taken about 15 of those lbs off, but as of today, I'm burned out, craving beer and nachos.

So, I'm here with you & for you! Let's go!

Swestie said...

Thanks, Beth. Sorry it to so long to respond. I forgot that I turned comment moderation on. (=

I've lost about 10 pound so far which makes me happy. But losing is never the true challenge. Ask me how I'm doing this time next summer!

Thanks for the encouragement! Oh, and just have one beer and a FEW nachos.

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